The Cake Full of Regret

Exam week was last week and I was ssooo looking forward to this glorious weekend of relaxing, having really quality one-on-one time with DLO and Mr. Wonderful and getting lots and lots done.  Somehow the weekend went way too fast, was way too stressful, nothing got done that was supposed to and I woke up at 4a to head back to school on Monday with a whole bunch of regret.

To preface my stupid cake story, I take time with DLO VERY seriously.  Choosing to go to medical school while she was a baby made me decide I had three priorities in life: DLO, Mr. Wonderful, and school.  Sort of important things like paying bills, chasing down contractors for our "almost" finished house, making doctor's appointments and such come 4th, self-care (ie, the thing that used to be my joyous hobby: running and cycling) a distant 5th.  And cleaning other than when anyone comes to visit a very very distant 6th.  I am ok with a dirty house if I can feel good about the quality and time I spend with DLO around the very consuming studies (and additional burden of driving in my case).  

Sssoooo, that brings us to the stupid cake.  It was Mr. Wonderful's bday smack-dab in the middle of exam week.  Which meant, I wasn't even home for his birthday and I sure didn't have time to celebrate any other day of the week (I did leave him a big goody bag and card the morning I headed to school for exams if that counts!).  So bday celebrations were left for the weekend and I tried to "go big" in my attempt to make up for any potentially perceived neglect.  I brought his favorite take-out home on Friday, we went out on a date Saturday night (only our second since DLO was born...yikes!), I made him breakfast Sunday morning and then made him a lemon curd cake from scratch.

This cake was a thing of beauty.  I made the lemon curd from the eggs laid by our very own flock of hens (very proud about this! love our chickens!), I made the cake from scratch, I made the frosting from scratch...all while trying to juggle DLO for the entire day alone (Mr. W was working on serious new house projects that had to be finished!).  She was being her normal, rambunctious, inquisitive self with a small dose of crankiness because I missed the nap window of opportunity. So there I am, exhausted from the week of exams, a few bad nights of sleep because DLO was sick, trying to make this darn cake, and trying to get DLO to just hang on a minute so I could finish the cake.  Suffice to say, the cake turned out great (at least one small consolation) but I was left feeling a bit sour about the wasted DLO time and the frazzled nerves caused by one little stupid, not worth it bday cake.  I'm sure Mr. W would have loved a box cake just as much.  It's amazing how angry you can get about time wasted when you have so few hours to waste.  And any time I miss the opportunity to spend quality time with DLO makes me unhappiest of all.

And to wrap this rather boring and unexciting tale up: as I'm just arriving at school 3hrs of driving later, Mr. W calls to tell me he's taking the cake to work so we don't over-indulge.  I pretty much wanted to cry.  So much for a wasted day of cake making.  Never again!