As this year comes to an end it's always a good time to look back and ponder the year's events. This year was a stunning year to say the least. It seems like every year since DH and I got married has been crazier and more exciting then the last. And this year has topped it all!!!
Major highlights of 2015:
-DH started new job 4 hours away leaving me to trudge through the first 7 months of our first pregnancy alone (we did see each other on weekends so only alone 5/7 of the time)
-defended my PhD!!! That's right, I'm now the "wrong kind" of Dr. :)
-sold our house and moved to join my husband in a very (very) rural community
-started my first "real" job
-had a baby!!!!!
-got accepted to medical school
-purchased 80 acres to build on (attached to DH's parent's land)
So all in all, it's been quite the year. As you might imagine, having a baby pretty much topped it. We wanted a little one SUPER bad and had been trying for a while and were extremely thrilled when we found out we were pregnant on Christmas Day 2014. Who knew being pregnant was FOREVER but it was worth every minute of it when we welcomed our daughter into the world (someday I'll post about my awesome drug-free water birth). First three weeks, well, let's just say no one speaks of those first three weeks because you repress the memories. But seriously every day with her is the most amazing imaginable. DH is the most wonderful dad and supportive guy ever and has really chipped in to help since I only got 3 weeks (yes, you read that correctly and it was a darn shame and should have been a crime...) of maternity leave. So with a combo of help from grandparents and a few "sick" days between DH and myself we've been able to keep her home. All cliques about having children is true; hardest thing you'll ever do but worth every millisecond of the work.
New job, what can I say, I 90% hate it and for someone who makes their career a big part of their life, that's pretty miserable. On top of it, it's VERY difficult to leave petite bebe to go to a job that you hate. Mostly it's atmosphere and my bosses. There's a lot of negativity, ripping down of people behind their backs and to their faces, millisecond priority shifts (which means a project you slaved on all week no longer matters and they're angry you're not already halfway done with their new "top project"). Getting accepted to medical school makes sticking it out worth it or I would have already been job hunting. It also makes it easier to decide to go to medical school. With a new baby and enjoying the new-found financial security of a real paycheck we weren't sure whether to stress our family out with me going back to school. If I had had a job I enjoyed and a boss I could stand I probably would have just framed the acceptance letter and moved on (it bothers me that petite bebe will be 8+ years before I'm done with my training).
And finally, the day BEFORE I got accepted to medical school we had an accepted offer on 80acres of land that we've had our eye on for ages. It borders land that has been in DH's family for several generations. We've always wanted to live out in the country, have a place to raise a few animals, build mountain bike trails, etc. The only issue is that it ties up a lot of our capitol without a place to live; so now we're looking at either building ourselves (can we say stressful!!!) or doing a pre-fab cabin/house (my favorite option though DH is currently resistant to the idea).
All in all, its been a fantastic year and the start of many new and exciting things to come! For sure 2016 will be another exciting year!
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
10 Months: Long Days, Fast Months
I can't believe it's been so long since I posted last. I really should have been better because lord know I needed a place to vent but between wrapping up my PhD, moving, preparing for baby, and settling into a new job and new home things were just overwhelming! Now, as I wait for what I hope are the last few days before baby comes, its become a bit of a time of reflection.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Pregnancy books and weight gain
I got suckered into another "First Time Mom" pregnancy book today....the reviews were great! All of them raved that this book had insights that no other book had. So I bought it. And I read it in (no kidding!) 10 minutes!!!! I haven't ever had a baby before, but I could have written this book. I think the pregnancy book market is much like the wedding market and the baby market is similar. "They" all know that put either "wedding," "pregnancy," or "baby" in the subject and you can inflate the price and sell loads of them. Hhhmmm, this gives me a pretty good business idea for when I'm an unemployed scientist languishing in the northwoods. :)
But in other news, I am absolutely sick of reading pregnancy books that say you shouldn't gain any weight in the first trimester. Ok, I understand that rationally and objectively and scientifically, MAYBE you don't need to gain any weight in the first trimester. But are there really people who don't gain ANY weight at all? I mean my doctor had the nerve to tell me (after I said I was afraid I'd already gained...and not really afraid but actually aware of the fact that I had indeed gained more than the recommended weight for 1st trimester) that if I had, I sure hid it well. What?!?!? You didn't even know what I looked like prior to me walking in a few minutes earlier and us bonding over the fact that you got a very personal viewing of my nether regions. And then he continued to reassure me that he was sure I wasn't going to gain any weight and that he'd be ok with me only gaining 15lbs if the baby was healthy.
Now, excuse my rant for a moment. And let me explain his (incorrect) misconception. I was a bit of an extreme athlete prior to getting pregnant. I had raced bicycles professionally, I ran marathons, did crazy things like 100-mile mountain bike races, and generally spent my free-time (when not slaving away in the laboratory) very very active. Like 7-10miles of running/day active. But then I got pregnant. And my breasts hurt like crazy and got very big (like from "barely A" to a solid C). And I was exhausted and nauseous. Run 7-10 miles a day? Are you crazy? I could barely run 5-6 miles without feeling like death and trying to keep my heart rate at a normal baby-growing level. The salads I used to devour make me nauseous, in fact, oddly enough, any green cooked vegetable literally made me hurl. I settled on a few food groups: peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter stuffed pretzels, cereal, oatmeal, apples. Yup, all I can say is thank goodness for horse-sized prenatal vitamins to cover my other glaringly lacking food groups. And can you see how weight gain might occur? Now the fact that I started on the leaner size does not mean that I haven't gained a lot and his whole assuming that I would be prioritizing not gaining weight was rather obnoxious. I wasn't an 18-year old girl worried about still fitting into my skinny jeans. I was a 30's year old woman who spent 18 months trying very hard to get pregnant who is still getting used to major changes in energy level, food palatability, and crazy hormone swings. And did I mention that having Mr. Wonderful working in the northwoods leaving me the big city alone does NOT help with keeping the crazy pregnant lady binges at bay? If he was here, it'd be much easier to exercise self-control (it's embarrassing to slurp down 3 bowls of cereal in a row with milk running down your chin if somebodies watching but when it's just you and your sweet little pup...well, no shame!). Anyways, the whole point of this rant, I want a "for real" pregnancy book that admits that in the first trimester you feel shitty so it's normal to over-eat a little bit and that maybe in the 2nd trimester when you apparently have your energy level back you can even it out then. "It's Really 10 Months" is a real good start though the focus is on the last trimester but at least those ladies make you feel like not conforming perfectly to all the objective advice and tips is ok and just plain normal. I think we need more books like that and less books making us feel ashamed for not being perfect baby incubators. :)
But in other news, I am absolutely sick of reading pregnancy books that say you shouldn't gain any weight in the first trimester. Ok, I understand that rationally and objectively and scientifically, MAYBE you don't need to gain any weight in the first trimester. But are there really people who don't gain ANY weight at all? I mean my doctor had the nerve to tell me (after I said I was afraid I'd already gained...and not really afraid but actually aware of the fact that I had indeed gained more than the recommended weight for 1st trimester) that if I had, I sure hid it well. What?!?!? You didn't even know what I looked like prior to me walking in a few minutes earlier and us bonding over the fact that you got a very personal viewing of my nether regions. And then he continued to reassure me that he was sure I wasn't going to gain any weight and that he'd be ok with me only gaining 15lbs if the baby was healthy.
Now, excuse my rant for a moment. And let me explain his (incorrect) misconception. I was a bit of an extreme athlete prior to getting pregnant. I had raced bicycles professionally, I ran marathons, did crazy things like 100-mile mountain bike races, and generally spent my free-time (when not slaving away in the laboratory) very very active. Like 7-10miles of running/day active. But then I got pregnant. And my breasts hurt like crazy and got very big (like from "barely A" to a solid C). And I was exhausted and nauseous. Run 7-10 miles a day? Are you crazy? I could barely run 5-6 miles without feeling like death and trying to keep my heart rate at a normal baby-growing level. The salads I used to devour make me nauseous, in fact, oddly enough, any green cooked vegetable literally made me hurl. I settled on a few food groups: peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter stuffed pretzels, cereal, oatmeal, apples. Yup, all I can say is thank goodness for horse-sized prenatal vitamins to cover my other glaringly lacking food groups. And can you see how weight gain might occur? Now the fact that I started on the leaner size does not mean that I haven't gained a lot and his whole assuming that I would be prioritizing not gaining weight was rather obnoxious. I wasn't an 18-year old girl worried about still fitting into my skinny jeans. I was a 30's year old woman who spent 18 months trying very hard to get pregnant who is still getting used to major changes in energy level, food palatability, and crazy hormone swings. And did I mention that having Mr. Wonderful working in the northwoods leaving me the big city alone does NOT help with keeping the crazy pregnant lady binges at bay? If he was here, it'd be much easier to exercise self-control (it's embarrassing to slurp down 3 bowls of cereal in a row with milk running down your chin if somebodies watching but when it's just you and your sweet little pup...well, no shame!). Anyways, the whole point of this rant, I want a "for real" pregnancy book that admits that in the first trimester you feel shitty so it's normal to over-eat a little bit and that maybe in the 2nd trimester when you apparently have your energy level back you can even it out then. "It's Really 10 Months" is a real good start though the focus is on the last trimester but at least those ladies make you feel like not conforming perfectly to all the objective advice and tips is ok and just plain normal. I think we need more books like that and less books making us feel ashamed for not being perfect baby incubators. :)
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Early Pregnancy Woes
Being pregnant is fairly anti-climatic. You can't tell anyone (or at least I feel like I shouldn't...just in case) so it feels fairly unexciting and SLOW. You can't decide if you should eat more and exercise less (in my case, as a fairly intense athlete its been a tough decision with little literature to support it). And in my case, its even slightly dangerous. Today I had to try not to strangle a new graduate student who was pipetting Trisol pretty much on top of my desk and then my PI walked in and asked me to prep some formaldehyde-fixed tissue for the next day. Both chemicals that are quite dangerous especially for pregnant mothers!!! And then to top it off, there's been some hemming and hawing about my pending graduation date (end of March). Looks like I might be giving birth while giving my defense if somebody doesn't decide to hurry things up (and for all the 14+ hrs/day 6 days a week, it is not me!!!)! Though let me tell you those 14+ hr days have definitely taken a hit. Half the time I feel like I can hardly make it through an entire day, much less a 14 hr day. I've started to make serious efforts to limit myself to 12hr days. That seems fair and reasonable and healthy! The nice thing is, no morning sickness which is a blessing I'll be forever grateful for. I still have 2 weeks to go until my first pre-natal appointment. Despite the fact they think I'm about 9 weeks right now, they just didn't have any free appointments. It might be my first baby but apparently loads of people are pro-creating as well! I honestly think I might only be about 7 weeks but I just want to have that first confirmation that at least the initial growth is good and its a viable pregnancy. Right now every twinge sends me into a panic...it took us so long to get pregnant (>1yr of pretty robust trying!) that I am paranoid that I won't take it to term. I only have to get through 3-5weeks til I pass the first hurdle but that sure feels like forever especially when I'm sitting in a lab next to chemicals all day. And in other new, this will make me due sometime in August which is pretty much the worst time possible for either a) starting medical school or b) job hunting.
Edit (4 days later): so that whole no morning sickness thing??? Well, I'm probably still luckier than most but for the last week I've spent the morning pep talking myself and my stomach into work. Part of me is secretly glad that I have these symptoms but the other obviously feels sick and awful and tired and crappy. My thighs are getting big, my butt is getting big, and thank goodness my boobs are too! One small mercy at least ;)
Edit (another 4 days later): and now I feel great (well mostly) so I'm back to freaking out that something isn't right. Tomorrow is finally my first appointment and it will either be terrifically wonderful or horribly sad depending on whether the pregnancy is viable and doing well. I am terrified I won't here a heartbeat or that they'll tell me I'm anything earlier than 8 weeks (which would mean lack of development) because for sure I should be at least 9-11+ at this point. Lord, there is no making me happy!
And on top of it, I have lost my wallet (AGAIN!), the grocery store won't take a check with a passport and I have no idea if my doctor's office will take a passport on check-in. Should be an exciting day! :P
Edit (4 days later): so that whole no morning sickness thing??? Well, I'm probably still luckier than most but for the last week I've spent the morning pep talking myself and my stomach into work. Part of me is secretly glad that I have these symptoms but the other obviously feels sick and awful and tired and crappy. My thighs are getting big, my butt is getting big, and thank goodness my boobs are too! One small mercy at least ;)
Edit (another 4 days later): and now I feel great (well mostly) so I'm back to freaking out that something isn't right. Tomorrow is finally my first appointment and it will either be terrifically wonderful or horribly sad depending on whether the pregnancy is viable and doing well. I am terrified I won't here a heartbeat or that they'll tell me I'm anything earlier than 8 weeks (which would mean lack of development) because for sure I should be at least 9-11+ at this point. Lord, there is no making me happy!
And on top of it, I have lost my wallet (AGAIN!), the grocery store won't take a check with a passport and I have no idea if my doctor's office will take a passport on check-in. Should be an exciting day! :P
Monday, January 19, 2015
Telling the parents...
This past weekend we visited my folks and broke the news about our pregnancy! I was super nervous to tell anyone so early (we thought we were about ~8-9 weeks), but at the same time, being my first pregnancy I really really wanted to be able to ask my mom questions and advice as well as have her support if something did go awry. I googled announcement onesies and found some really cute ones but they were so expensive! So I decided, despite my lack of craftiness to do it myself. A few Gerber onesies and some iron-on transfer paper and some advice we were set!I knew my parents would be excited but I didn't realize how much so! I got to spend hours talking with my mom about some of my early pregnancy woes and she had so much terrific advice from hers. She also took me out shopping for a few baby outfits and some clothes for me to accommodate the new growth. My dad was thrilled as well already planning on how to set up their cabin to be baby friendly and offering all kinds of support from gear to housing to baby-sitting. I definitely enjoyed the excitement after having kept things secret for the last month!
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